I started writing him a paper in my most keen ENG201 argumentative/persuasive style, but decided it would be more human to attempt to talk to him again instead. I tried to convince him that his stance was rooted in strongly republican values and principals, seemingly against his otherwise staunch democratic leanings. Those republican principals being intolerance for one, and his no-tax no-play attitude for another.
I asked him if he believes that a man that owns a $700k home deserves more from the public school system than he does since that guy would pay more property taxes. Should only children whose parents sit in a certain tax bracket be allowed to use the computers at school? Of course not he says. Then he still refused to believe that his opinion on this differs diametrically from his views on fuel taxes and sharing of roads. Giving up on this angle, I attempted to convince him that the more people you have on the roads with a bicycle, a happier and healthier populace you will have.
"I don't know about you," I say "but I like going to places where there are lots of fit and happy people." I went on to tell him that I even go out of my way to avoid locations that might host large concentrations of fat angry people. Places such as church, the Republican National Convention, or any sports bar in Chicago on Sunday. Getting him to agree that life is much more pleasant when the people we are forced the share this planet with are happy and healthy, I moved on. "It is our responsibility as commuters to promote roadways that are friendly and safe toward users that are taking steps toward lower emissions and fuel consumption." Dan agree, but still says that what the bike paths are for.
So in a nutshell, I used every move I know from both chess and logic to put him into a position in which he would have no choice but to abandon his bigoted opinions. I forked him with his own contradictions, then pinned him against his otherwise democratic sensibilities. It was no use. I guess it is biologically impossible to mate someone that is hung like a pimple. Dan must have been chain whipped when he was 8 years old by a gaggle of shaved legged Frenchmen, their large European man parts only inches from his face throughout the beating. He has been scarred forever.
In other news; the Burley trailer got a flat on the way home yesterday. Daddy was unprepared and Rowan was pissed. "Daddy I want to go fast!" he cried for 45 minutes as we crept home slowly with our broken chariot. We need to toughen up the trailer so that one of these mornings we can bomb through the golf course on Odana; angry morning golfers chasing us shaking their fists. "What kind of world are we living in where some crazed biker can interrupt the elitist yet escapist womb of a $65 golf game!?" We have to keep the motorists on our side, but the golfers can lick my balls. Not this guy though, I don't want him near my balls.
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