Scooby Doo!

I think he might be more of a scrappy.

There is singletrack around here somewhere.

I got to spend quite a bit of time in the woods on my bike all alone this weekend. Even though the trails at Blue Mound were almost completely obscured by fallen leaves, it was one of my favorite sessions this year. It's easy to take sweet trail conditions for granted in July, but these days every moment spent in the woods carving turns feels like it could be the last for a while; making them that much sweeter. While it was so fun and fast I caught myself drooling at times, I couldn't help but to think that I should have been jumping over coffins in a diaper. Seemed like a no-brainer to me.

Bill and Ted's Most Excellent Adventure

Not being completely absorbed by all things bike, I've been thinking about other things that have me looking forward to next year. I think about next year's presidential election like an 8 year old thinks about Christmas(oh sorry, the holidays). When I think about it I'm taken over by a wave of 90's nostalgia. The times when the pants were obnoxiously baggy, pop music was quirky and cute in a slovenly way, naughty presidents only got themselves in trouble, and "liberal" wasn't a dirty word.

If the 90's had a baseball card it would be easy to put up ol' Bill as the face of the decade, but as Prez his actions were too guarded(in public anyway) to be as adorable as he is capable of. My pick would have to be Ted Turner.

"Men should be barred from public office for 100 years in every part of the world...The men have had millions of years where we've been running things. We've screwed it up hopelessly. Let's give it to the women"

Ted was a good old fashioned liberal kicker of asses. He is the grampa I would love to have. "Grampa, tell me about how North Korea is a good country because they all ride bikes." Mainstream media has been nutless since he lost control of CNN and allowed Murdoch to set the tone. Just to get a taste again, I feel like wading through all the FIBs just to get myself a Bison steak.

Gettin' Huge

Weight training routine began tonight. Anatomical adaptation. The last time I had thrown plates around I was 25lbs heavier. I felt tonight like I needed some kind of marker identifying me as a bike racer so I didn't get picked on by the chicken legged big guys. I was tip toeing daintily across the gym with my 10lb plate. I imagined for a second that it would be funny to run around the gym, slapping all the huge guys upside the head and having them chase me around. A big line of them following me across the street and then up and down the aisles of the Copps. Benny Hill jams kicking as they careened into displays of soup cans and smacked into each other with their weight belts still on. Can't catch us skinny guys.

Is it really this easy?

While at work today I was really kind of burned out on playing on the internets and eating exotic salads across the street, so I decided to do some work. I worked almost all day. At the end of the day I was given a 10% raise. I'm really gonna have a hard time finding 10% less to do. Maybe I'll write a book at work.

And I'm not even Catholic

I'm fostering a terrible sense of guilt for not racing Gibbs lake cross yesterday. What has happened to me? As punishment they gave my belt buckle to the Goat. Really though, I was out to try the Masters 30+ race in the afternoon. Longer race and all the fast people would be there. By the time I had the parts together to have the bike ready it was too late to get there in time. That's what happens when old people such as myself try to stay up until the wee hours for an entire weekend. So rather than race we had another long family ride around Madison while Rowan napped in the trailer. It was too nice out for cross anyway, we should have plenty of miserable days coming for that. The cross bike(and my legs) be twitchin' for action.

Now that the WORS season is over and the banquet wrapped up I'm retiring the WORS kit. If I were young and single I would probably continue on with the WORS posse, but with a full family of racers now and lots to do it would be a recipe for burnout. After speaking with Pete and Bill Saturday night, I think next year we will be a family of Chainsmokers. They have their sights on being more a force to be reckoned with in the team competitions, and I would love to help. Hopefully that orange and blue kit will be 10 minutes faster.

Anchors Aweigh

"I got a letter from the government, the other day. I opened and read it, it said they was suckas.."The last time I had heard from the Navy was about a year ago. Some hardly pubescent recruiter called me to see if I was interested in coming back as a reservist. I think I had already been promoted to E-5 by the time this kid found out that girls were cool. I wasn't nice to him. I reminded him that I had already given them my 20's and now they could go fool someone else. Yesterday I received an e-mail from a Navy recruiter at my work address. I don't know how they found that address but it kind of pisses me off. Sounds like they have bled our nation's poor dry and are now going after middle class folks that have already done their time. Paying for it isn't enough, now they want our blood to pad the pockets of the already super-rich and properly connected. Call me a hippy, but when I hear hooves I think horses.

Change of Plans

I didn't do too bad this year considering that it's my first full season of racing as a non-smoker that isn't doing his best to destroy himself anymore. I have considered my rate of improvement and where I think my natural skills are, and decided that if I do the work that needs to be done I might be competitive with WORS top 20 elite next year. Here are the two big ones for this winter:

1. Weight training and running during transition and prep. I need to address my anterior pelvic tilt and other muscular imbalance issues in the weight room to free up some untapped power. I think the running is important as cross training, especially during transition.(plus it can't hurt for cross)
   
2. When base miles start in early Jan(tentative), I need to suck it up buttercup whatever the weather is. Back to back hundies every third week by Feb. This isn't to say I'll back off the intensity completely, I want to keep it hot with a hard effort once a week all through trans, prep, and base.
   

I was certain that if I stuck to 75% or more of my training goals I would be where I need to be next year. In other words, if I did the work I would not suck on a bike anymore. Or at least I would suck less.

A wise man has informed me that the reason I suck on a bike is because of my stance on Global Warming. And apparently it is causing some other personality issues that I might have and ultimately be affecting my success in life. While I wasn't aware that I had an official stance on Global Warming, it's still a problem that I need to take care of. I thought that subscribing to the popular science and making corresponding changes in my life was pretty reasonable, but turns out this is just a bottomless and festering well of suck. So now I have some new goals set to help me get fast, or rather, to help me not to suck. Here they are:

1. Start a huge tire fire in the back yard and stoke it with diapers and plastic shopping bags. This is while leaving both vehicles running all night. We want to get all the CO2 into the atmosphere that we can to help those plants grow.
   
2. Accept the challenge whenever some Biff challenges me to a ski race on very dangerous terrain, or something.


3. Keep my socialist opinions to myself, even if most are founded in solid scientific findings.


4. When faced with two sets of opinions, I will refuse to use my intellect to analyze the positions and formulate my own opinion. It is easier to pretend that I'm too cool for school and I don't care.
   

Like any good scientist I'm skeptical that any of this is going to work. I just can't help but to think it has something to do with the base miles. We will find out next year I guess.

Cold, wet, and not-so-fast....

Woke up yesterday and heard raindrops on the roof and smiled. That meant I would get to have my first real cross race. I ran around the house for a while freaking out about not being able to find stuff then headed out the door to ride the bike to Verona for my warm-up. Sheri took Rowan in the hypocrite wagon and got some beer on the way. By the time I was registered there was like 50 dudes at the start already. Go. We started shuffling to a start in the back and the guys in front were finishing the lead out already and hitting the mud. Once again my gear was stupid big, and it was all I could do just to hold my position. I slid out once on one of the slick 180 degree turns but recovered quick, and I was taking the barricades a whole lot faster than my last attempt at crossin'. Russell was yellin' at me "Go you socialist, you can do better than that!!" By the time I had learned how to take these greasy corners with skinny tires, the race was over. I didn't look at the results since all I wanted was beer, but I was somewhere between the fast guys and the slow guys.

What have I learned?

1. The 46t has to go. Either the cross bike gets gears so that I don't have to worry about ratios anymore, or I put something little on there.


2. Get to the start line at least 15 minutes early even if it means standing around shivering.


3. Just because there are course features that everyone else is dismounting for, doesn't mean that I have to. I probably could have ridden the run up with the logs and the landscaping ties by the playground had I been able to turn the cranks over.


4. I don't need to wear so much stuff. With a skinsuit I probably could have shed the kneekers and the jacket.


5. Warm up warm up warm up.

In other news, I learned that the WORS message boards are populated by a bunch of dorks, myself included. From now I'm going to save it for after Don says GOOOOOO!

Tired bikes

Rather than have a CX double-header weekend, we decided to have a relaxing day today with a family ride. So we load up Rowan in the trailer close to nap time and head out toward Verona. I took the Kona since I had just installed the FU-bar and pitchfork, and wanted to take this opportunity to shake it down with a quick lap at Quarry Ridge. About 2 miles from home I hear a severe gobbling during one part of the rotation on the rear rotor under heavy braking. WTF? I look down and 4 of the 6 bolts are gone, with the last 2 on the way out. Bizarre. I installed this rotor like 7 races ago with locktite and torqued to spec. No problems. Now all the bolts fall out just cruising down the bike path? So we turn around and head home. I trade the limping Kona for the Cross bike which was ready to rock for racin' action tommorow.

On the bike path almost into Fitchburg a couple of ULBs (unsupervised little bastards) were working hard on destroying what was left of their neighborhood. They had what looked like skateboard ramp in the middle of the bike path. I'm down with that. However, they had enhanced the run up to the ramp with probably a half dozen freshly broken beer bottles and drug a small tree across the bike path. 2 or 3 of the ULBs were brave enough to stand their ground as we negotiated their urban pitfalls and I cussed at them to clean this shit up. There were like 6 more kids hiding in the bushes over the left about 30 yards. If I weren't such a narrow assed white boy wearing tap shoes, I would have marched those snotters right up to their crack pipe wielding excuses for parents.

We made it down to Badger Prairie park and it looks like it should be a fun venue. My ratio should work well since I rode the place trying to remember the map of the course I had seen. There is a good sized playground almost right in the middle of the course so Rowan should have plenty to do. On the way home I decided to burn a quick lap of QR with the cross bike. For some reason the quarry is being pumped out or something, and the parking lot and trailhead are flooded. Jumped on the doubletrack to start up top and it was big fun. The washed-out off-camber downhill has been re-routed and is a much better and more fun section of trail. On the quick right hand sweeper on the bottom of the short rocky climb I crashed the bike hard, flatting the rear tire and beating up my swanky record levers. So I got to walk to the gas station as Sheri hammered it home with Rowan in tow. Some fun, two broke bikes, 60deg cool temps.

Manbearpig

I just heard that Al Gore is being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. This might be a good night to hole up and watch Fox news all night. I'm gonna pop some popcorn and listen to the propaganda machine bitch about them damn liberals with all their "facts" and fancy book learnin'.

Season Finale

I should be most happy with my first WORS season. I should have lost my 2nd place series spot, but in keeping with how the rest of my season has been, showing up was enough. I would have liked at least one Comp podium before grabbing that plaque, but seemingly I didn't want one bad enough.

With the holeshot preem in place, the start was crazy ape shit fast. Of the 21 singlespeeders that showed up, I was probably 4th or 5th into the woods. All stayed good and fast until we got to the quarry side towards the end of the 1st lap. Just ahead on the flat sections after the river I could see the stars and hearts of James Lalonde up ahead. I'm am pretty sure Casey and Jerry were with him so I pounded it down trying to close on them knowing that was the front of our race. I got within 20 yards of them and then popped in a huge way just before the stairway climb. It took me until after the feed zone and into the singletrack of the second lap to recover. By now I was getting passed by a handful, as I was too deep in debt and doubt to care. I was cursing the 36x17, an 18 would have been perfect. The sweet, fast, and rooted cornering of this course brought me back to life though and I got into a groove at my own pace. Just as I found this groove I came up on Erich Ponath trying to repair a flat. I knew I had to put at least 2 riders in between us to keep my series placing so I was pumped again. While I was mostly in no-man's-land, I did go back and forth some with Joel Coon which was fun. On the roots that are no longer evil, he dabbed and I nailed it, never seeing him again. In the last lap I passed three more of the single speeders that had passed me when I popped, and I lapped Erich. That felt nice since I knew it sealed up my standing, plus I haven't been able to get that dude to say 2 words to me. Coming up the Equalizer the last time the smoking guy told me another SS was 5 seconds ahead. "Go get him!!" So I nailed it again trying to close before the finish. When I came up on him it was Aaron Brandt. I'm guessing he bonked trying to catch the front since he just waved me by right before the sand pit. It was a fine finish and probably my best performance since 9-mile. Here are the results.
Sheri had her first race at Sheboygan also, and took third in her age group. At least I have her and Rowan to pick up the slack and bring home some hardware. Saturday she doubted she could do 2 laps, now she wants to train hard all winter and is dreaming of big wheels and fillet brazed frames.

WORS #12 Images

That is a gaggle of fast singlespeeders on my wheel. I think they all came up on a bus from Kenosha or something. I was able to keep these three behind me, and a few others.

I-to-the-Zayah Polska-Slayah

Born-again singlespeeder, and an Elite one at that.

Thanks Fattires-and-Beer for the pics, words later.

Big gear climbing

I finally found the "magic ratio" on the cross bike. 46x18, or about 69 gear inches. I think some force training is in my future, and not the Yoda kind.

Cross' practice

Sheri and I went out and I ate about 4 rolls, then I watched these. I feel faster already