Best Domain Name Ever

http://www.axeandyoushallreceive.com/

Approaching the Thundersnow

I pushed myself to the edge of sanity last year (from what side?) with the unending bike cleaning, destruction of bike parts, and the serial ass busting. It might be time to change the winter program when one of the bikes hanging in the basement is named “Nanook”. Chasing down injured fur trappers over icy bike paths for 3 months is a sure way to burn out or crack your ass before the season even had a chance. This is how I tackled last year, so I should not have been surprised when my season was spiritually over by June’s closing.

From what I understand Madison is a bitchin’ place, (when the snow is flying) for a xc ski nerd to live. Given my winter training blues, my predisposition to be a nerd, and a lifelong quest to find all things bitchin’; it seemed natural to pick up some skis. For 100 bucks I scored a complete setup with new boots, beat-up waxless skis, and $10 bamboo poles. I haven’t been on xc skis since I was an 11 year old boy scout, but with this equipment and a pair of quilted blaze orange overalls…. Bring on the Thundersnow.

Brotherly Love

Front page news.

We aren't all faded liberal hippies here in Madison. We still have to stay alert. You never know when you might come across one of these sensitive but violent cyclists riding their high end time trail bikes around. In the snow. At night.

There is a hint of justice here though. Act like a condescending punk to another grown man, you risk getting put in a headlock in your own driveway.

You might be able to buy a light here if you make an appointment. Head down Willy Street and look for the smashed out windows.

Not as cool as meat underwear.

Local beer, bus, and some half assed CX racing. I've been playing the guitar a lot and thinking about 2009. I'm aim to have a season that lasts longer than 5 weeks next year. Keep it fun and consistent. That's about it.

Finnish Bitching

They are so bad off.

Election day death blow

Comfort Teams

Whisper Mode

Tomorrow, it is likely that all the most horrible nightmares of the Ranters of Goat will come to be.

Don't be afraid fellas, there is help out there.

Be Afraid

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?

This article was printed 15 years ago. 15 years before the straight talk express took a detour through the trailer park in a desperate effort to giddy-up some votes. It is really quite sad that a man like McCain, coming from the honor and prestige of a long successful career, can turn himself into a complete joke in just a few short months. A week before he chose Sarah Palin as his running mate, I could defend McCain honestly in debate. Playing the fair handed and thoughtful voter, I went so far as arguing a case in support of him to Sheri. Of course, no honest thinking person could support these clowns after their serial insults to the intelligence of the American people. Back in the day, my beefs with McCain were limited to his pro-lifing and nation building. Now I find him totally unfit for office. He can't even display any longer an ability to make decisions or conduct himself like a grownup, much less a commander-in-chief or statesman.

We went to vote last night in a line that took just over an hour to get through. There were not many others standing in that line that were over 30. This is Madison (i.e. the fake America), so while that observation may not mean much, you can go see for yourself what your lines look like. Thanks to early voting, we have been able to watch Blinky and Winky go down in flames in real time.

Like Chris Rock said.....

What ever happened to crazy?

Circular Firing Squad

With the McCain campaign now locked into a circular firing squad, I suppose I can heed a wise man’s words and stop picking fights with the handicapped. Perhaps it’s more politically correct to call them “reality challenged”.

Miles and motivation are all coming back to me now that the racing action is closing. November will be better, but in the future I need to figure out why I’m always 90 degrees out of phase with the MTB season. I have learned quite a bit this year and am feeling the fire inside again.

Balance and power inside and out, with a plan to get there

Contrast

General election summary.

Palin's Hate 2008 tour continues...

Now she is playing stuff from the new album.

Meanwhile, the mainstream media continues to ignore the fact that Obama played the Keating 5 card. Are they still on the tire swing? Or is it just that hatred and fear make for much more exciting news?

Jumping the Shark

At first she was an unknown. More recently she was funny while revealing to us her staggering lack of qualifications to hold any high office while still coming off to some as cute.
She is no longer funny or cute. As she is showing us this week on her "Hate 08'" tour, this bitch is fucking dangerous. “Hey we are losing the election, let’s start a race war! That should shift the focus from the economy!” Essentially calling Obama a terrorist that hates America, the McCain campaign is now stirring up the fear and hate festering in the belly of the neo-racist youtube underground.

From the Washington Post:

Palin's routine attacks on the media have begun to spill into ugliness. In Clearwater, arriving reporters were greeted with shouts and taunts by the crowd of about 3,000. Palin then went on to blame Katie Couric's questions for her "less-than-successful interview with kinda mainstream media." At that, Palin supporters turned on reporters in the press area, waving thunder sticks and shouting abuse. Others hurled obscenities at a camera crew. One Palin supporter shouted a racial epithet at an African American sound man for a network and told him, "Sit down, boy."

How dare the media make a white woman look stupid by asking her questions.
And reporting from another event:

"Now it turns out, one of his earliest supporters is a man named Bill Ayers," Palin said.

"Boooo!" said the crowd.
"And, according to the New York Times, he was a domestic terrorist and part of a group that, quote, 'launched a campaign of bombings that would target the Pentagon and our U.S. Capitol,'" she continued.

"Boooo!" the crowd repeated.
"Kill him!" proposed one man in the audience.

Palin went on to say that "Obama held one of the first meetings of his political career in Bill Ayers's living room, and they've worked together on various projects in Chicago." Here, Palin began to connect the dots. "These are the same guys who think that patriotism is paying higher taxes -- remember that's what Joe Biden had said. "And" -- she paused and sighed -- "I am just so fearful that this is not a man who sees America the way you and I see America, as the greatest force for good in the world. I'm afraid this is someone who sees America as 'imperfect enough' to work with a former domestic terrorist who had targeted his own country."

"Boooo!" said the audience.

Greg Sargent wrote this morning that the race has come to resemble quicksand: the more McCain and Palin thrash around, the quicker they sink. He might be right, but they are firing automatic weapons into the crowd on the way down.

Choo-Choo!!

Thanks DailyKOS for a late morning laugh.

Sunday! Sunday! and uh.. Saturday.

I had to use this shot of Sheri's since it catches me in action passing the only guy I beat all weekend. Note the gut. I'm hauling that around for resistance training to make me stronger in late November. The hairy legs are serving the same purpose.

Not only was I fat and slow, but I had issues with the bike all weekend. In the Cat 3 race at Cam-rock on Saturday I rolled a tire. Sir Walls was kind enough to lend his pit wheels so that I could take advantage of the 5 dollar second race and get creamed by the masters. Today I broke a shoe again warming up. Next my bars started slipping thanks to my custom Pilgrim cable hanger. I decided that it wasn't worth knocking my teeth out only to get my ass kicked again. While trying to flee the scene a bunch of fast guys asked me why I didn't just shim the damn thing. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that. I can say that one's resourcefulness with respect to keeping the bike race ready is compromised some when it is known that the body isn't race ready either. Jerry, Rick, Russell and Jeremy helped get the bike going while I suited up again. Thanks guys for the help. This weekend was like having my own pit crew, with every crew member being faster than me. The Wisco race scene is the mostest. I missed my start but at least I caught up to and passed the girls before I got pulled. It made for some good Andy Kaufman style racing. The Lapham course is much more fun when wet, and the steep run up was a big improvement over last year's course. If I keep it up I should be much more comfortable on the bike by the next round of WCA races.

On Saturday Sheri couldn't stop talking about what she wants in a CX bike and thinking about trying a race. By today's race she was full on obsessed. I won't be surprised if she buys a bike tomorrow and races in the mud at Badger Prairie and Gibbs Lake. I tell you Mountain Biking is a gateway drug.

One more laugh before she fades away...

I AM Joe Six-Pack

COURIC: And since you've compared yourself to the average Joe Six-Pack, I'm curious, what beers did you regularly drink before you were tapped for this — to stay unaware of and indifferent to the world?

PALIN: I’ve drank most of them, with a great appreciation for the hops, for the barley —

COURIC: But what ones specifically? I’m curious.

PALIN: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.

COURIC: Can you name any of them?

PALIN: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our beers

Leadership vs. Fingerpointing

Will McCain have to "suspend" his campaign again since the bailout failed? It's funny how he was for bold leadership before he was against it. Now he has decided that blaming everyone is the way to fix an economy suffering the wrath of strong fundamentals. Grampy to the rescue.

Autumnal Awakenings

Two months worth of late season sloth, beer, and VW wrenching make for a painful start to the CX season. I understand that cross is supposed to hurt, but you are supposed to be able to accelerate out of corners while embracing the hurt. I just plain hurt. I couldn't even use the big ring on the first half of the course yesterday. My silly decision to pose as an expert mountain bike racer put me in Cat 3 Cyclocross this year with the new rules. That would have been OK if I had continued to pour on the miles like I was before the Cicadas started singing. I was pulled from finishing the last lap after James and his Trocadero(sp?) homie lapped me on the techie hillside. I was kind of bummed since my back had finally quit screaming at me and I was having fun with the course.

There was some good in there though. The course was super fun, we got to see many faces we have missed the last couple of months, and I came out of it motivated to get fast again. I have finally surrendered to the reality that the motor has to come out of the bus to get some loving. It won't be full time camp ready until next season. So now I get to put the beer and the wrench down and work on my own motor instead. November is what it's all about anyway right?

Sheri snapped a bunch of photos of both days of racing. They are up at OGMG.

The Search for Mooselini Revealed

WANTED
VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
Must have served as an elected official
Must be a “bull-dog” politician able to lie without blinking
Must be a WOMAN
Must be ATTRACTIVE
Must be a radical right wing religious fanatic
No others need apply
Education Requirements: 4-year degree - any subject
Foreign Affairs Requirements: None
Economic Requirements: None
Please submit full-length, pageant-quality, swimsuit photo with resume to:
The McCain First Campaign
PO Box - Keating 5
Anything to Win, America 10000
*Applications without attached photographs will be discarded

Don't let them do this to you!

Keep in mind that this $700,000,000,000 bailout will be financed with our tax dollars. If you were hiring someone to manage your personal finances, would you ever agree to this kind of language?

"Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are
non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed
by any court of law or any administrative agency."

Please read up, pass the word, and communicate aggressively with your Senators and Representatives.

In case you wet the bed last week

Nice....

"John McCain wants to take on the Old Boys network. The Old Boys Network!? In the McCain campaign, that's called 'a staff meeting'"

-Barack Obama 9-17-08

No Faking the 40

I have heard it said that there is no faking it in the Cheq 40. Unfortunately after 7 weeks of 1 or 2 days a week at most on the bike, faking it was all I had. Early this season I had a goal of a top fifty, (which is ridiculous considering I have never seen this race) but I knew my reality going into it was that I was just going to ride it out.

I chose a 36x17 and staged my bike around midfield at 8:30. I was really hungry waiting for the race to start after having had a rushed breakfast earlier. I tried to eat the hippy snack out of the registration bag, but it was pretty awful. Like a turd-rolled-in-birdseed-entire-family-laughing-for 5-minutes-at-how-awful-it-was awful. Starting hungry was a perfect way to top off my already low expectations.

The start was less frenzied and scary than I expected. I was actually able to relax and move up carefully through the field. About 10 miles in I started feeling good and would shoot past quite a few racers on every climb. At mile 30 however, everything seized up and that party was over. After that I was staggering up hills dragging my bike behind me. I was passed by legions of pie plates, primal jerseys, and Euro pro kits. I was pathetic. Racing is so much more fun when you have the miles in. When I rolled in the finish the clock said 4:24 and I hung my head. I found out a few minutes later my finish was like 3:04. Phew! Still, it was a full 40 minutes slower than I feel I should have been had my fitness progressed this year as planned.

After having a little meat orgy under the tent at the finish, we were out of there. I know we have had it pretty good with racing weather this year, but the rain was a real buzzkill. There were waves in our campsite back at the KOA, so we cut our trip short and headed home.

The Cheq experience was huge for me. It was truly memorable and epic. I can honestly say it has refreshed my passion for racing bikes, which I sorely needed. Still being new to this, I think I had gotten a little too WORS-centric and just burned myself out with the trainer hours. Staring at the power meter and the carpet for 150 hours before the racing ever starts doesn't leave you with many matches to burn. I'll get it figured out by the time I'm 45.

Charlie Gibson's Palin interview exclusive!

This chick is a train wreck. I love the bit about "perhaps" invading Russia. We are doomed if Americans are stupid enough to vote for these war crazed asshats.

What do Generals know...

about victory?

Not much I guess. Unfortunately there are no risks taken when subscribing to a strategery of empty words. The Seinfeld approach. A campaign about nothing (but lies), risks nothing (but maybe having to look for new fresh lies).

PalinMcBush takes the Bait

Obama has successfully baited John McCain into showing us what he is really made of, and the results are disgusting.

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/09/mccains-integri.html

Obama has manipulated the manipulators. Unfortunately this brilliance is lost on most voters.

If the happily manipulated voting public wakes up in time, it will be attributed to this growing contrast of character that Andrew paints. When you can't possibly make an informed decision anymore based on heavily obscured and debated voting records or past deeds, watch and listen to how these two men run their campaigns. The juxtaposition is startling. The choice is clear.

It just keeps getting better

http://thepage.time.com/2008/09/03/murphy-noonan-unplugged/

Meet Loretta

I'm pretty stoked to introduce Loretta as the newest member of our family. Loretta is a 72' VW Westfalia. She just took me all the way from Iowa City in supreme style (and she told me it was OK to call her LoLo). We bought it from a guy named Pete. Pete bought it from an elderly couple that had owned the van for almost 30 years. The wife (Loretta) was suffering advanced stages of Alzheimer's. Throughout the drawn out and emotional transfer of ownership to Pete, Loretta would exclaim, "We have a van just like that!" We hope to offer it the same kind of love and care that they did, and I think our relationship is off to a good start. The Hypocrite Wagon and the 12' Deathbox are soon to go.

I have been without an air-cooled presence in my life since I sold the 67' Karmann Ghia in 2002. Old Volksies gave me a profound appreciation for smart and simple engineering at a young age. I have since maintained an interrupted and varied (but not always monogamous) series of relationships with vintage VWs. I have even had a few water pumpers sprinkled in there. This is our first camper. She has a refrigerator that is capable of keeping beer cold. I have tools and a natural understanding of all things mechanical. It should be perfect symbiosis.

George and Jesus

On behalf of President Bush, thank you for your correspondence.
We appreciate
hearing your views and welcome your suggestions.
Due to the large volume of
e-mail received, the White House cannot respond to every message.
Thank you
again for taking the time to write.

You're welcome! Jesus never takes the time to write back either. I don't think either one of them can type.

Word

BSNYC, on the virtues of keeping it cheap and simple.

"No group has tapped into this wisdom more successfully than singlespeed mountain bikers. The singlespeed mountain biker revels in the fact that he’s accomplished the same thing as the geared rider, and he lives for that moment when someone is impressed by his ability to keep up while using a derailleur-less drivetrain. Of course, the truth is that on a lot of terrain a singlespeed mountain bike isn’t much of a handicap. In fact, often it’s an advantage. When confronted with a steep grade on a singlespeed mountain bike, you either have to stomp up it really fast, or you have to run it. Meanwhile, the geared rider will downshift eternally until he’s spinning a tiny gear so violently he simply falls over. It’s kind of like clothing. It might seem like you’re at a disadvantage if you’ve only got one pair of pants, but the fact is when it’s time to leave the house you just throw on your pants and leave. On the other hand, if you’ve got too many pants, you’ll need time to decide which ones to wear, then you’ll need to find a matching shirt, then you realize the shirt that goes with those pants is dirty, and you don't have any clean pants to match the clean shirt, and before you know it you’re 40 minutes late. Still, the singlespeed is perceived as a handicap, thus allowing the singlespeed mountain biker to stay up late doing bong hits, show up at the race the following morning, finish 15 minutes down on the guy riding the geared full-suspension bike who’s trained really hard, and still look like the toughest guy out there. (A notion that’s only reinforced after the race when he pulls on his one and only pair of grease-stained pants.)"

22.5 hours of 9 mile

Victory, (and apparently the ability to construct intelligible sentences) has evaded us. We do, however, have a firm hold on dead fucking last. 24 hour racing is hard. 22 hours in I was hating it and figured it was a really stupid idea. Now I can't stop thinking about next year; like what I/we did wrong (a bunch of stuff) and how do I/we do it right next time (I don't know yet). Huge props to all those guys that killed it all day and all night. Thanks to Ryan, Wendy, and Sheri for all of the help. Also, big thanks to Rick Walls for giving up his NR Moab when Pete's battery was snagged from the charge bar.

What a completely original experience it was.

Left in the dust...

Rowan finished his race unassisted yesterday without training wheels, which is more than I can say for myself. He was beaming and I missed it because I was warming up for my "race".

Sheri felt a lot like I did yesterday but she Womaned up and finished. She raced until she had to puke, which makes her one hard chick. When she gets race fit, you chicks out there might consider recognizing because she is going to rip some legs off. She also got bit by a dog while running across the venue to look for a place to purge the devil after her finish.

Listen, assholes. If you don't have control of your animal then don't bring them to a WORS race. The offending asshole didn't even apologize and was nowhere to be found once Sheri had her wits about her later.

My throttle cable was disconnected yesterday. My legs might have been there but they didn't want to answer the call to race. I watched the Elite field walk away from me in the dusty field knowing I had no racing in me on this day. This course brings out my inner suck. Couple those things with a bike that doesn't want to stop and I had a recipe for injury. There is some good though. On the line, behind the best in the Midwest; my stomach was flipped upside-down and I was downright nervous. I haven't felt that way since starting my first Sport SS race at Iola last year, and it was exactly what I was looking for. My reality for now was that I would have had the same result no matter what number was on my bike.

Quitting is for losers, but nothing has me seeing red more than a recent dnf. 9 mile forest should make a good backdrop for redemption. Pete is pretty spooled up for this race as well. We are shooting for a solid 20 laps worth of Goat and Stringbean chasing. Sheri got the scoop on last years winning secret nutrition. I hear Chris Eatough eats babies to stay fueled. Ramen noodles are cheaper and easier to prepare.

Bear Left, Right Frog

I’ll be racing at night for the first time at 24-9 next week as a duo with Peter C. When I registered us in May, I laughed when the confirmation page said “championship” on it. Everything is coming together for these next couple of weeks though. Over several night rides at QR, I have the lights dialed. Riding fast, alone at night with an iPod full of crazy shit is pretty awesome. The lights seem to accent strange features of the trail and the trees. I keep thinking that I am running over frogs that are sitting right in the middle of the trail. The first time it happened, I nearly crashed trying to avoid squishing the poor frog. It might have been a rock doing its best frog impersonation. I did not stop to investigate.Everything was flowing perfectly in the dark last night. Only my lousy ass, noisy juicy 7s were interrupting the flow. I will try the Strokers tonight since Sheri stole the Martas. The legs feel mighty good right now also. Standing up and mashing up climbs feels effortless. I wonder how long that will last. I have firmed up my decision to race as an expert starting this weekend. I won’t come in last and I won’t be killing any dreams. In that respect it will be just like racing Comp SS, but with one more lap and much less passing. Other than that I have no idea what it will be like. It feels like the right time, and a 36x19 feels like the right choice to climb those CR switchbacks in the up direction 5 times.

Doping and Poison Ivy

We attempted to sit and watch the first real mountain stage of the TDF last night recorded earlier on the DVR. Even with the ability to zip through commercials, we couldn't stay awake through the end. It takes these non-dopers way too long to climb those damn mountains. I woke up later just in time to see that some narrow-assed Italian climber won the stage. I could have guessed that and went to bed early.

On our ride on Saturday, Ryan and I discovered rather quickly that the first few ungroomed miles of the H8TR trail are not ridable in July. The weeds were taller than us but I insisted we power through it and go looking for Charlie anyway. I have been rewarded for my tenacity with my first allergic reaction to poison ivy. I may be showing up to my first Expert race with legs that look like stubbly rotisserie chicken drumsticks. I am a dumbass.

Mid Season..... or CX base?

Last time I made a blog post attempt, I bonked mid sentence.

The WORS race over 4th of July weekend at Eau Claire was a good time. With some spirited encouragement from Sephie, Rowan learned to ride sans training wheels in about 2 minutes. I felt warmer and more snuggly inside than a basket of puppies while watching him stand up and hammer across the field. He was a bit more timid the next day and I probably got more frustrated with him than I should. He was either shaken from one of his falls, or he does much better when girls are watching.

Sheri jumped out front for the holeshot and had a good race. Rowan and I ran through the woods frantically with a camera and a sack of pre-race food trying to find Mom and cheer her on. That chick is going to be fast when she actually has time to ride and train.

My race was a bit of a mixed bag. I felt good and strong and kept it upright the whole race (from now on I think I will bounce myself off the ground at least once as part of my warm-up). I did have a hard time though just letting riders slip away from me. On the lead out, I sat right on the Curteseses but then just let them get away when gearies started coming around me on both sides. It was like getting swallowed. I think I am way too timid in a pack, sitting up when I still have some top end to spend. I have been doing the same thing this year in the singletrack. When Bill came around at Eau Claire I just watched him walk away one pass at a time without even checking into my LT. I think I'm getting beat by experience at this point, and it still takes me two laps to develop a sense of urgency. I might upgrade now to shock the system, and improve my “laps/hours driven to get to race” ratio.

I took 5 days off the bike to be completely rested for a 12 hour single speed attempt at Blue Mound. Now the rain date is the same day as the Badger Prairie CX race, so I'm torn. With the race off, Ryan and I logged 90 miles to Illinois and back on the H8full Badger trail. It was my first ride on the Ridley Supercross and it felt great but out of its element. It wants to accelerate over and over again, and it is set up a bit too racy for sitting and grinding in the dirt for hours. Back in our neighborhood, deep into hour 5, we pulled a 900watt sprint to catch a couple of nerds on scooters down Seminole. It was a much needed ride and a good time as Ryan makes a good training partner.

With the Blue Mound race off and over, I took the Vassago out of overbuilt enduro mode. With the switchblade back up front and some light, fast tires stans'd up I ripped a bunch of laps at QR last night. The good lines we once had through the rocky upper part of the climb are washing away; about 6 feet of that climb is getting more difficult and is a great testing ground for SS climbing traction.

Tired and satisfied, we watched a bunch of nobodies race over some mountains on TV somewhere in France. I think the BKB could send over a team and make Tim a GC contender this year. Tonight's stage might be worthwhile though. Like many cycling fans, I'm trying pretty hard to wrestle myself from vapid indifference over what remains of the TDF.

Tagged.....

Apparently I've been tagged. Thanks Amelia. My posts are pretty random anyway, so here is some numbered randomness.

1. Rowan likes to give Moonkee wet willies. Before you say "awww, that poor cat.", remember the cat has no damn job.

2. Speaking of Raptors, we were woke up this morning by the dreaded Kinderaptor at the buttcrack of dawn. Much like a bear attack, the best defense is to lie still and stay quite. I am much better at this tactic than Mom is, so she usually takes the brunt of the attacks.

3. At the time trials Wednesday night, I threw my bike in the truck with disgust and took off home after 1 lap. There are days like that on the bike, it was not a good one. I must be subject to some manstral cycle, because it seems to happen about once a month.

4. I played guitar in a punk band in high school. We had a bunch of original material, but also did covers from the Misfits, Dead Kennedys, and many other 80's punk classics. I did vocals on only one song, a cover of "Jesus Entering" by the Feederz. I won't link to it because it is more offensive than vomit. We didn't play at any weddings or graduation parties. We were members of the Racine/Kenosha area punk rock Elite for about 6 months though. We recorded a "Christmosh" album in Joe Cycenas' basement with a single microphone and a boombox in December of 1990. We are older than old school.

5. I have a new nephew born over a month ago that we have not driven to Racine to see yet. We have been selfishly bike racing and stuff, but it goes like that sometimes. My family in Racine seems pretty far away these days.

6. My first mountain biking experience was in 1995 in Jacksonville, FL. My old friend Pete Schiavone pushed a bike at me he had borrowed from his Dad. I think it had a kickstand on it, and didn't shift. It may have even been a woman's frame with the dropped top tube. I don't remember if it actually was, but I'll say it was just to complete the picture. He took me to Hanna Park near Mayport on the beach. They had about 8 miles of pretty fast rooted trails there, really fun stuff. I dropped Pete pretty quick with a big ass grin on my face. No helmet, no shirt, no water. I bent the shit out of that bike. The handlebar, fork and wheels couldn't be saved. Within a year I was racing in Florida, albeit getting my ass kicked. Thanks Pete.

The tagging stops here, we are packing for a bike race. The people I might tag will probably be there in real life.

Happy Independence Day. Don't let them do that to you.

WEMS weekend

Jesus didn't want us to go to the WEMS race this past weekend. But we said screw that hippy. The Hypocrite wagon broke down on us on the way home from Suamico last week. Luckily we had 350 miles left until our warranty expired so the fix was 300% cheaper than the cost of the tow back to Madison. Thursday when we picked it up it promptly broke on us again, so we spent our Friday waiting for the truck when we should have been on the road.

Evil prevailed and we arrived at LT Friday night just in time to catch a pre-ride with some Chainsmokers. Sheri promptly assumed the registration duties which continued all weekend. When she finds a dropped ball she likes to run after it, spike it and dance. Props.

Race day. Lots of fast people showed up for the SS race so I was starting to wonder about my top 10 chances. Slow start. I haven't ran since last August save for a few sets of barriers in November, so the Le mans start had me feeling goofier and slower than I already am. I hopped on the bike close to the back of the pack then passed 6 or 8 guys in the first couple of miles. I then rode most of the race leap frogging with Roger from Muddy Cup. Through the entire first lap and part of the second, I would power past him in the open areas and on climbs then he would go by me in the twisty stuff. At the start of the second lap, Roger said something to me like "if you had some bike handling skills to go with that big motor, you would be(something flattering that I forgot)". I took that to mean that I was riding the singletrack like a wuss, so I stopped being such a wuss, eased off the brakes, and kept him behind me for the rest of the race. He stayed close until the switchback climbs up to the Levis top out. I stood up and jammed with him 20 yards back or so, and heard him blow apart like a General Motors product. He said something admitting defeat and when I looked back he was walking. I didn't want to screw this up so I kept laying it on thick for the rest of the race. In the end I really wanted another lap and felt I could have caught one or two more. 11th place behind some pros and fast guys ain't so bad, but it was again a learning experience. I learned not to be so damned lazy in the singletrack, and not to make Roger's mistake. If you tell a competitor he sucks, he will try harder not to suck and kick your ass in the end.

Rowan took a solid 4th place in the under 6 year old 1/4mile Solo class. He is so ready to lose the training wheels. I think we will give it a good shot over the long weekend at Eau Claire. Sheri rode the 3 hour race at a social pace but crashed her bike hard enough to spew hydralic fluid and fork oil all over it. That crash earned her a nice brake upgrade to the Magura Martas and a rigid carbon fork. The Vassago is rigid again too until Hayes fixes the noisy dampener problem. I was louder than the gearies out at Levis with that fork. Lots of racin' action to come and everyone is feeling fine.

It was a very cool event and a good time. I like the WEMS scene. Drinking beer and laughing at the guys packing up their cars like zombies after 12 hour solos is fun. I think I just about made a couple of guys sick while flipping over my kabobs as they were staggering around sipping gingerly on juicy juice.

1 part visualization, 6 parts beer.

During our weekly Friday night tearing up of fine Mexican cuisine, Sheri was talking me through keeping my season from spiraling out of control. She told me when we got home I was to take a long shower, shave the legs, and visualize jumping into the singletrack in front of Jerry. I was pretty sure I was going to need more than just visualization to pull that off, but I tried it anyway. At this point I'll try anything to get my head screwed on straight again.

We arrived at Suamico yesterday just in time to set up in the rain. The beer hour came around quick with no hope of a pre-ride. I think I had six beers total before the night was out and slept like a..... half drunk bike racer I guess.

Warming up with an ipod full of Slayer should be outlawed by the UCI. Slayer inspires an unmatched sense of urgency, and it set me right for a good race. Just a mile or two into the first lap it looked to me like Jerry was under geared, so I figured I would use the 36x16 to my advantage and try to put a bunch of people between us on a long slightly downhill section. That worked for a while but I wondered how soon it would be until I would see him again. I worked with Dave Bell (okay he did most of the work) for the majority of this lap and on and off for the rest of the race. Jerry showed up before the 1st lap finished up and we managed to stay together until I could yo yo no longer just before the start of the 3rd. We had a group of gearies with us that kept snapping back and forth like an accordion. The little rain shower we had during that second lap was killer, and only added to the grin factor for me. After the elastic snapped I sat in no man's land for much of that third lap, trying to close on that group which I could only catch a glimpse of on long straightaways. Turns out that after I fell off this group, Jerry commenced to nuking what was left of the gearies with his turbo-cadence. I came in for another 4th and another 21st overall. It was the most fun I've had in a bike race by far, and I'm pretty jazzed for the rest of the season now. The Vassago/Manitou combo sang sweet melodies to me for 36 miles. I could not be more happy with this setup. Thanks to the Chainsmokers injured reserve again for the support, Dave for the pulls and the encouragement, Momma and Rowan for kicking ass, and Slayer for more of the same.

Free your mind....

...and your ass will follow. One would think that coming into a race with low expectations would lead to zero disappointment in the outcome. Not so. The truth is that the low expectations are part of the problem, perhaps even the root. More saddle time and less bitching is forthcoming. The Jaberwocky is awesome even though I wasn't having much fun on it's shakedown ride. I'll be putting a boinger on it when it arrives at Willy tomorrow and calling it done.

Sheri didn't get any photos of me because I'm a quitter, but these guys were representing.When I was trying not to tip over, the Daves were some of the first to come by me with some words of encouragement. Then they killed it together for 2 hours. I want to be like them when I grow up, minus 26 gear choices of course.

I think I will be skipping the race at Suamico next week and playing superfan/babysitter while Mom lays it down for the Cit women. I'll we be using the trails though to dial in the bike and get a bunch of off-road miles in. I'm putting some Hi-rez focus on the SS champs race and the 12 hours @ Blue Mound, with Eau Claire sandwiched in there. It is also time for some weekday racing to keep the motivation fresh. The WORS Comp SS points race should be interesting all year, and the class has been populated with a bunch of fast guys each race. I'm happy that I went with my gut and didn't upgrade. I think I need a couple more years of miles on my legs and quite a bit more experience. I'm getting better at learning to enjoy the journey. It is becoming easier for me to span time gracefully with my family. The ride could not be what it is if it weren't for every individual root and rock.

I am a regular feller

I haven't been doing much liberal jabbering on here lately. It is partly because it is dirt season and I have been busy at work, but mostly because others do it so much better.

Long and lean, clean and mean

• Steel.
• Black.
• Named after both a demon prince, and the legendary beast of gibberish poetry.
• Fits my monkey armedness.
• Black.
• Frame costs less than the crankset from a citizen racer's $6000 Trek.
• Wet Cat geometry is well suited to post apocalyptic riding that might require riding over or negotiating around lots of skulls and burned out cars.
• Steel.

Put away wet

Since mental toughness is my greatest limiter, I have difficulties with the 12 minute muscular endurance type cruise intervals. I like the short, nasty, power and VO2 max type efforts just fine; since they are over before you know it. Those longer digs though, they are long enough for the brain to be a factor. The nagging doubt and nausea associated with longish threshold efforts make them a real pain for me. My head tells me to stop:

Why are you doing this?

What's with the Sally watts?

Why don't you just grow a throat beard and do trail work?

You have nothing to prove.

Your body will never recover from the brutal thrashing that was your 20's.

Take a nap.

Those kinds of things. I read somewhere that counting to 100 over and over again by 5's helps to cope with this, but I keep forgetting to try it, and slow down instead.

Rolling through this weekend, 5 of my 7 hours on the bike must have been at my threshold. It seems nature can be quite the motivator when the weather begins to get violent. Trying to get around, away from, or through a nasty storm with tornado sirens blaring in the background; was quite effective at buffering the pain and doubt from the mind.
I get to build a bike tomorrow night with a warm satisfaction from this weekend's riding. The Kona is being retired. I'm gonna hang my parts on something steel and black, listen to Slayer, and drink beer. If Johnny Cash (before he was, um, dead) and Glen Danzig (before he had to suck in his belly) were to have a duel aboard Single Speeds, they both would have chosen this bike. I'm sure of it.

Faces of WORS

I raced a turd of a race today (and managed to convince myself during the race that it was my best), as indicated here by my mugshot. I clearly need to work harder and download some of those 90 dollar mental toughness mp3s online to play over and over while I sleep. Here are some happier (and faster) faces of WORS.
Nice work Amelia in the Elite finish. We also had a good showing from nearly every Chainsmoker save for myself. Thanks to Bruce for handing up like a champ and get well. Here's to digging out of slackerdom for Mt. Morris. More pics from Sheri.

Beaten with Sticks

You know those cheap remote control cars from big box stores that distant relatives give to your kids at Christmas time? The ones that only have a range of like 5 feet and as soon as you squeeze the throttle it wildly skitters across the tiles, tires spinning out and bouncing off of the baseboards. Then the controller is out of radio range in 2 seconds.

"Sorry dude, this is clearly not an inside toy, or an anywhere toy for that matter."

I have felt lately like one of those cars when riding singletrack, all throttle but no range or control.

Blue Mound last weekend was a great way to cap off a weeks worth of crashing my bike. I've been pretty frustrated off road and it resulted in taking 3 days off all bikes and sulking. I felt better last night like I am ready to crash into stuff again. Anyone have a medium-ish SS 29er frame that they need to trade for something smaller? I fear I have been cramming myself into my Kona. On the range issue I may have been a bit conservative in planning my training volume, I could stand for way more mileage/hours(making time for it is something else).

The best laid plans......

----------------

If the weather is nice when I pick up Rowan in the afternoon he is usually in the playground. I like to walk up slowly so that I can watch him interact with his friends for a few moments without knowing yet that his Dad is there. The other day him and two of his friends were riding the tricycles. They have this huge figure 8 race track out there that they can attack each other on....., I mean ride leisurely on while smelling the flowers. When I walked up I saw his two friends tangled up, trying to wrestle their bikes apart. Rowan was barreling down on them at a high rate of speed with his feet in the air having spun out his fixie tricycle. What made this scene most choice was Rowan hollering "Rider down! Rider down!" as he dumped into the grass just before t-boning his tangled buddies. I laughed for five minutes, then corrected him. "You need them to clear out Rowan, try 'Rider Back!' next time."

Escape!

I plan on kicking down the walls of my cubicle at 3:00 and hauling oates to Blue Mound State Park. We have 3 days worth of trail riding, beer drinking, and family lounging planned. Before the beer drinking starts though, I think I'm going to try the time trail tomorrow morning. I have gotten to know that climb well over this past winter/spring, so I should be able to hammer this one pretty good. 28 minutes sounds extreme, but everyone gots to have goals right?

Need something to do the weekend? Come on out and ride. We are at site #59 and rides will be leaving at random intervals all weekend. Bring beer, chairs, and maybe a first aid kit if your bike skills are off. Blue Mound will bite you if you aren't paying attention.

Baffling

I had an interesting lunch today with some of our X-ray Diffraction customers that are visiting us in Madison for some training. These guys will be using our instruments aboard an international geological research vessel. Their work includes endeavors such as drilling and running analysis on the underwater crater left from the asteroid believed to have wiped out the dinosaurs. Very cool stuff if you are into science, the pursuit of truth, and such things.

Our discussion was all over the place, and our guests displayed unique insight into a variety of fascinating topics that were woven through the fabrics of science, society and humanity in general. Before long the conversation turned to the economics of oil and gas prices. If anyone does, these gentlemen have their fingers right on the pulse of the stark geological facts concerning peak oil production. One of them was actually the diffraction scientist aboard an oil platform at a previous job. However, when I used the phrase "peak oil" in conversation, I may as well have said: "Great Googly-Moogly!" The consensus among them was that the blood being spilled over high gas prices was strictly on the hands of both the EPA for shutting down refineries that were out of compliance, and the oil companies for failing to invest in a dated and crumbling infrastructure. I suggested that it wouldn't be good business for oil companies to pay for modern and expensive equipment that won't be in operation for long enough for them to see any return. It is our relationship with oil that is becoming dated and crumbling. One of our guests replies: "No, they are just greedy bastards."

Perhaps, but greedy bastards know where they have to spend money in order to continue making it. Just like the president of the United States in a bad Jerry Bruckheimer film doesn't want the people to know that they will all die soon at the hands of aliens or whatever, big oil won't scare their employees with startling tales of irretrievable remnants of oil. Our refusal to accept the coming end of an energy era will ultimately make the transition all the more painful. Nobody gives a fuck.

I was baffled by their obtuseness on the subject when juxtaposed against their knowledge of most everything else. Even with unfettered access to applicable facts, people will look the other way when facing the reality of the coming situation. Baffling.

600 milligrams

That's how much ibuprofen I just consumed. I slammed my body into some trees today while trying to lay it on too thick. Once pretty violently, enough to shake me up a bit and lose a bunch of time. I went from 15mph to zero in half a second and my left lower leg took the hit. I did have my best start yet though. After my crash I started losing it and Jerry was able to catch me and walk away for good in the singletrack after the last set of climbs. I'm happy with how I dealt with adversity and am pretty stoked about the race. I did forget to eat again and that didn't help my already shaky final lap. This course at Lake Geneva is the cat's ass and a super gnarly dirt roller coaster. Loved it. The Racing Ralph 2.4s were brilliant, even if 15psi up front may have been a bit squirmy late in the race. Quite possible though that it was me that was getting squirmy. 4th again, and moved up a couple more spots in the Comp field. Big thanks to the Chainsmokers injured reserve for the handups, company, and encouragement.

Sheri took up the slack again and brought home 2nd in her age group and 5th of a large Cit women's field. She was taking them to church!

I think I'll give that a try before the season is up.

Rowan followed Russell's lead and napped through his race. He did however clean the paved hill behind the building heading into the venue. He was standing and grunting, pushing that gear. I was a proud Daddy.

Rock Crawling

Sheri and I worked diligently at our jobs all day long, for we both exercise pure devotion to our employers. Then we went mountain biking! Blue Mound was open today, and it reminded us quickly how wimpy an upper body gets from lonely winter miles. It always seems to take a few trips out there just to be able to clean all the areas you had perfected the previous fall. We fell some, some of us more than others. Sheri waited until just after this shot was taken to bail.
I had to show her how to do it right by bailing for the camera.

Suffering

I met a Monk about 10 years ago that summed up for me in a few words what the path to enlightenment is. He said all you have to do is remove suffering from your life, and defined this suffering as "the feeling of the difference between the way things are and the way you would like them to be." I liked that. It makes sense to me and now I reference it all the time (and find ways to introduce new forms of suffering into my life).

I would say, then, that Hillary has long strayed from the path to enlightenment. This contest isn't over only because she really, really, really, really, wants to be president. And isn't that enough? She has become as dismissive of reality as a Bush cabinet member. I read a comment somewhere on politico that put it like this:

“Hillary has become the town-drunk who refuses to leave the bar at 4 am, and ends up getting beaten up by the cops.”

True. So why do her friends keep feeding her Vodka Tonics? Oh that's right, she is spending her own money now.

Bumpin' and Jumpin'

2008 is going to be a good year for racing. I think we learned quite a bit from last year and this weekend of racing was much more fun and relaxing than our 07' experiences. Not being committed to set-up and break down the races helps quite a bit, but I think it was mostly the preparation. Preparation of not only the family camping stuff, but having the miles in to know you should have your best race.

Managing my race. I ended up racing Comp SS again and it was a very full class, going off with perhaps the biggest comp age group as well. It was clear from the start that to try and stay with Jerry would be a mistake, he was just silly fast. So I played it conservative (probably too much), and felt good the whole race. I may have been able to squeeze out a few more minutes by allowing myself to hurt more, since I felt ready for another lap at the finish. 4th place felt at home as 2007 had me there quite often, but I was further up in the Comp field than I ever was last year. Even though I dropped a hand up and my tire choice felt too big and slow, I'm generally happy with how I managed my effort. This was the first time in any of my Comp races that I felt like I was in the race, and that makes it twice as fun as suffering in no man's land. I feel better about moving to Expert now so will probably maybe perhaps upgrade for Geneva. I have no delusions of winning anything, that isn't why I show up. I just want to push harder, for longer, and find that next race to be able to hang with.

Sheri was pumped with her race and took 2nd in her age group. I think she was the only single speed in Citizen, and was in the middle of her overall. I have her hooked for sure. Rowan though the doggies were much cooler than the bikes but he had a good race and was only girl'd once. Saturday evening Rowan and I went for a hike and found a "coonasaurus" bone, but we figured only Mom was qualified to identify the species. We drank probably twice as much beer than was prudent on Saturday night and stayed up too late listening to colorful banter from the much loved muddy cuppers. But hey, it was fun.

More images here from the new family photog.

Secret Training

So go read ClusterFuck Nation. I don't know about you, but I like a nice guilt shower before pulling my camper to a WORS race. One day all we will have is the local cross race at the park. Start hording those tubulars now while we can still make them, and go racing up north while we can still afford it. See you at Iola.

The public appears aggressively clueless about the peak oil story. They do not accept any threats to the motoring regime. The news media is surely not helping sort things out. I saw a remarkable display of ignorance on CNN last week when the new resident idiot-maniac Glenn Beck hosted Teamster Union boss James Hoffa and they agreed that the oil companies were to blame for high fuel prices. To put it as plainly as possible, Beck doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, and it's disgraceful that CNN gives free reign to this moron to misinform the public. It's perhaps equally amazing that Hoffa doesn't know we have entered a permanent global oil crisis based on demand having outrun supply. These two idiots think that if Exxon-Mobil built a new refinery down in Louisiana, everything would be fine, diesel fuel would go back down to 99 cents a gallon, and it would be Christmas every morning.

Almost fast, not quite last.

I think the squirrels and bunnies dug up my tulips and ate them over our extended winter. All I could think about during most of today's race at Rock Cut was bacon. Never a good sign. I felt good and strong over the first lap, even though I was shown at the start that I can't start expert fast. The mud holes were so bad that I would say they were almost demoralizing. They felt like they were sucking us into the earth, and loaded up the bike something fierce. I made the rookie mistake of trying to ride away from a couple of the other single speeders too early in the race(while also hungry), when I should have rode with them and waited. In the process of trying to drop them I gave myself a double whammy pop and bonk, followed by a series of smaller pops. Needless to say half a lap later those guys came back, then passed me up just as I had washed out and hit the dirt on a sharp left. I just rode the rest of the race at a survival pace mostly, then started to recover and feel a bit better in the third lap after popping a gel (too late).

Today showed me in a rather brutal fashion that I ain't no expert yet. I think I'm going to start the WORS series in Comp SS again and see how that goes. Talking to Rick afterward in the bike wash line, he seemed to be reinforcing my lean toward Comp SS. I have mad respect for the guy, and he has been racing a whole lot longer than I have, so I think I've made up my mind for now. Besides, it sounds like most of the single speeders I started in sport with last year will be there, so it should be hella more fun than getting stomped every race. At least as a Comp single speeder, I might only be intermittently stomped.

We were also shown today that the universe is in perfect balance. I found out after finishing my race that I had won an 8G ipod Nano w/ arm strap, then later we discovered that we had lost the camera. We might still be in the black though, since the camera was 5 years old and the size of a brick. If you find an old Sony camera with photos on it of a painfully average bike racer, let me know.

Mmmmmm.... Dirt.

We are a couple of losers don'tcha know? We had never been to the kettles, so we figured why not go check it out on the first off road Saturday of the year. It seems that all of the off roading types from the Milwaukee metro area had the same idea, so we got to see a bunch of those folks. I got my first exposure to the trail system from the vantage point of Ron's wheel, which is to say I didn't exactly get to relax and take in the view. The place was in great shape, and it is a really cool trail system (duh, says the entire upper Midwest). The signage is set up in such a way that even a dumb ass such as myself can't get lost. Ron came over after my first turn out and coughed up a Mt. Dew to reward my mid-winter reading comprehension skills (I didn't remember that until much later, but I was pretty sure I wasn't being rewarded for barely hanging on to what was probably his lazy day pace.) Sheri explored the trails with her new sled for awhile while Rowan and I worked on riding without the training wheels and playing some kickball. Afterward I got to head out again for a solo blue loop hoping to find my single speedy legs out there somewhere. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like they stay over the winter even if you ride a lot, they have to pop up and grow again like tulips. Speaking of tulips, another sign the off road racin' season is upon us: the truck smells heavily of heinous anus biker ass again. Ahhhh, spring.

Bleeding for Singletrack

We Survived Winter 2007/2008

Cheers. It's official.

Str8t h8t

I had some random disco song floating around in my head all morning on Saturday, and knew it would spell D-O-O-M for my H8TR performance. Luckily I was able to force a switch to the much more applicable "Straight Hate" from Sepultura during the neutral roll out. That's better.

I was shown rather quickly when we arrived @ Midvale that I don't have much for throttle response yet, but did feel quite comfortable pushing a working pace. That is probably about right for where I should be right now: no race specific acceleration, but very comfy on the bike in general. I ended up trading pulls with RonK for the majority of the race. We never caught the chasers but we made good time when we arrived back in town. Sped through town with a group consisting of Ron, myself, Aris (or one of them Peterses), Fang, and a couple others I don't know. I made a bad call when we got to Brearly and yelled "left"! Aris and one other followed and we were immediately caught at a light, so we lost the rest of the group for the remainder. I rolled into the lot around ?10th? I believe, with tennis ball sized knots of H8T in my hamstrings.

50 miles of western Dane yesterday was sufficient to work out the knots while cashing what was left of my legs simultaneously. It's a good time for a rest week. Tonight I inject the Kona with Stans and Blue Blood in preparation for next week,..... or the week after.

Rain, Snow, or Turkeys.

Front page news in Madison.

Rigid 16er Single Speed

After Rowan's lackluster WORS performances last year (he was girl'd a few times), we decided it was time to look into his equipment (and eat our vegetables). He is rolling big 16er wheels now. After countless hours spent reading the MTBR forums, it was time to sip the 16er Kool-Aid. Sure, they will never accelerate as quickly as his 12" wheels did, nor be as light; but the improved angle of attack should help him carry more momentum over the obstacles that aren't on the kids courses. They may also make for an easier weening from the training wheels.

H8TR Sled

The universe would not allow me to sell my Gunnar. So then, it only seemed right to gear it up for punishment as a H8TR grinder and marathon racer, maybe even CX duty later on. This bike has an old punk rock soul and I'm kinda glad it's still around.

"One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." -Dr. HST

The Hills are Ripe

Ouch. Big Wheaton/Big Ring Racing/Chainsmokers ride today. More was bit off than most could chew but it was a good time. I was hoping with this route and the out and back to Cross Plains from my place I would be well over 100 by the end of the day. However, everyone was yelling "Direct! Direct!" after the stop in Blue Mound. Some of the miles toward the end of the ride were shorted out, so I only ended up with 90. We did get 80% of the planned climbs in though, so I should sleep well.

Cashed

A cashed check tells me that I just purchased 40 miles of pain for 66.6 cents each. 40 miles are cheaper than 40 beers, but I'm more likely to actually finish 40 miles. Although 40 beers would hurt quite a bit more, the math says 40 miles of dirt is decidedly more evil. Where do you find this stuff this far east anyway?